When she's ill or dying

A diagnosis, a fall, a call from hospice. When a mother with narcissistic traits gets seriously ill, every old question comes back at once, often with relatives pressing for an answer by tonight. These guides are for that moment, whether you're no contact, low contact, or still in touch.

A few things hold true across all of them:

• Your safety still comes first, at a bedside too.
• Visiting and not visiting can both be right. What matters most is why you choose, not which way.
• You can say goodbye without a visit, by letter, by phone, or privately.
• Grief may come either way, sometimes mixed with relief. Both are normal.